The Unexpected Intervention of Verbal Communication

That title sounds so business like LOL!

But it’s true! It hit me like an epiphany after arguing for the umpteenth time over several days with the SAME PERSON in Messages, uuuggghhh…

I know most of us don’t like to speak on the phone or are intimidated by verbal communication, so the idea isn’t as appealing as texting. Yet, when someone misunderstands the message, how can you clarify without prolonging the growing tension? Defuse it by talking.

YEEESSS! Stop the back-and-forth responses immediately and ask to call or speak in person. Verbally ask if the person is upset. Ask for them to further explain their point. LISTEN and don’t take it personally. Above all, show them you mean well such as stating you just wanted to understand them better and was afraid things were turning into a conflict.

EDIT: I forgot to mention why talking things out is important! LOL! It’s not just about conflict resolution but also about picking up verbal cues (anger, irritation, hurt, humor, etc.) and if in person, then body language (crossed arms, furrowed brows, etc.). These things really help the course of the conversation and with understanding the issue at hand.

But what if the person says they don’t want to talk? Or what if they don’t pick up. That’s valid that they don’t want to but it shouldn’t stop you from expressing the purpose for the call and the hope it’ll still take place. Maybe, once you demonstrate you can be trusted, they would be more open to diffusing future conflicts with you by talking.

It’s always best to immediately catch the opportunity to resolve any issues. I’m sure there was a time someone texted you or emailed you where it came across wrong but you figured it wasn’t worth exploring or asking about. That might be your best opportunity to make sure each of you are on the same page; Like, THE BEST instance to get to know the person better without surmising your own one-sided, and possibly unfair, interpretation of them. So don’t just brush it off! Again, see if you can talk it out. If they don’t want to, see above. The point is, you’ll do what you need to because you value the relationship.

I know how it feels when that happens and my anxiety is maxed out, attempting to be patient. It sucks! You wanna feel better now! But when the person isn’t ready to talk when you are, you still have to respect their wishes and in that way, build a safe relationship so they can trust speaking with you.

Sitting patient with that anxiety thoooo…ionno what to do bout that. Catch some sleep? Lol! I’m usually wired and obsessively reflecting on things until the anxiety eases. Not the most healthy response!

That’s really all I got this time. Short and sweet.

I hope you agree by liking this post and following me. Let me know how else you respectfully disrupt an argument in the comments. What do you do about that anxious feeling? I’m totally open to expanding my tactics!

Stay Fighting 💜

About Crystal

Owner of Transformation ATTACK Blog and writer of the ways in which she learns to enjoy life by embracing herself: her strangeness, uniqueness, weirdness, introverted-ness, and other unattractive things. Life can be fun!

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