Randomness: Persona Comeback Trailer

Lord Jesus, help me. *throws hands in the air*

I haven’t been feeling the best but I came back to say a few words ’bout President Kim Namjoon’s comeback trailer, Persona.

It’s dope as fuck.

Everything about it screams him embracing pieces of himself so that he no longer has to put up a front.  The song is a remix of Intro: Skool Luv Affair, Genius from RMixtape and prolly more that I’m not aware of, so it’s dripping in hip-hop (it ain’t dead y’all! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و).  He shows who he is as himself, an idol and a leader, and in true President Kim Namjoon fashion, shows nothing gets passed him! (i.e. “But Namjoon,” and visual nods to ARMY affectionately calling him President by also nodding to the UN speech he gave! JFC!).

I also love how honest he is.  He admits he didn’t understand what message he should put forth as an artist when he was younger, so he imitated what he thought was right.  He admits that he’s always changing and he has his faults.  But, this life, this pursuit of “Who am I?” doesn’t have a clear answer.  There’s beauty in striving to become better people by constantly learning who we are, how to adapt.  There’s also hope and/or aspiration in his lyrics:

“So I’m askin’ once again yeah
Who the hell am I?
Tell me all your names baby
Do you wanna die?
Oh do you wanna go?
Do you wanna fly?
Where’s your soul? where’s your dream?
Do you think you’re alive?”

Genius Lyrics

Tell me all your names, baby?! I’ve been dying for him to drop another “baby,” my way but he also threw in a reference to his UN speech! *cries* He’s killing me! ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

And can we get an AMEN for all the Carl Jung thrown about the video backgrounds, visuals, and lyrics?!  We stan some smart ass Kings! They feeding us everything PLUS knowledge. *claps*

The consistency in his message of love and knowing who you are, from Love Yourself lyrics to concert ments, is amazing.  I effing love it and him.

Ya’ll. I said it before and I’ll say it again,  I would’ve loved this encouragement as a kid but I still love that I can appreciate the depth more as an adult.

President Kim Namjoon is everything.

End rant.

Transformation: Who Am I?

I’ve been reflecting upon myself after the release of MONO. by RM (Kim Namjoon of BTS).  Up to the release, people had tweeted what the album could be about and how it relates to his mixtape titled RM, especially its monochromatic theme and how RM struggled to live between the labels of artist and idol.  He has a life curve that mirrors his struggle where he asks “who am I?” and eventually reaches “Amor Fati.”

Amor Fati is the encompassing of all events that make a person who they are and accepting that fate to the point of contentment.  It’s more Nietzsche (his favorite) coming through modern philosopher Namjoon!  Watching RM develop and chart his own path of personal growth is inspiring, so much so that I’ve thought to myself, how would I answer the same question if asked, “Who am I?”

I can’t. (⌣_⌣”)

I’ve lived a long time, battled depression and anxiety, but what do I have to show for it? If I were to define myself, I should at least be able to say, without a doubt, what motivates me.  What am I passionate about? What attempts ended in failure?

As luck would have it, I was looking for something in the attic and came across some very old childhood “artifacts” (thanks Mom for keeping them! Lol!).  They’re hilarious:

And also impressive:

The DRAAAAAMAAA! LOL! (ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖

All in all, the efforts seemed passionate and heartfelt – something I taught myself to leave behind.  (I was too romantic! It hurt to be so sincere!) I’m now rethinking my inner-struggle.  Maybe I wasn’t too far off in my post about living with two “personalities” that are conflicting with each other.  Could I possibly be reverting to some of the optimistic, romantic qualities I had as a child?

Maybe I was avoiding my fate? Maybe it’s time to embrace it? Nevertheless, I’ll ponder what descriptions suit me until I can directly answer “who am I?”

I’m very thankful for RM.  I don’t think I’ve had a muse as intense and relatable.  Sure, I’ve had comforts, but nothing that could speak to my heart and assure me I’m not the only one; That everything’s okay.

I’m also grateful that I’m mature enough, and have lived long enough to appreciate MONO’s message.  It’s a very good time to be alive.