by It was disheartening to look at the wispy, scraggly split-ends of my very uninteresting bob. Regardless of how neatly I would perm and curl my hair, the look just wasn’t stunning. My hair didn’t feel like the proverbial “crown.”
I’ve always wanted thick, long, and luscious hair. I wanted my hair long-to my butt, okay? My hair was supposed to be a part of my character as something to emphasize that this is who I love being. So, for my 30th birthday, a milestone, I made the conscious decision to transform my hair into something new. I went “natural.”
After the big chop and loads of courage, I found the gorgeous hair of my dreams. It’s been a long 5-year journey since then with plenty of frustrations, but I never looked back.
Going “Natural”
Yes, y’all! Going natural was a 5-year-NO!-6-year journey. Embracing my natural hair was a significant transformation, and it took preparation. Being very unhappy with my permed hair (and inability to express myself adequately), I had to plan a metamorphosis (compared to just wearing what I want).
Instead of “the big chop,” close to my scalp, I decided to grow out my perm so I’d have a reasonable length of hair after the beautician lops off the ends.
Believe me, my hair was still short, and so awkward. The only hairstyle I could do (because I can’t braid, LOL!) is a mini-fro pushed upward with a head wrap. I also purchased natural hair products like a hoarder. Using these products was new for me! But I also wanted to try any product that promised big, healthy curls. In hindsight, I could’ve used the same products as before.
Now, my natural hair care routine works for me. I’ve also learned to love my hair as a gift and to love its limitations. Everyone, including myself, can’t have huge, smooth twist-outs like YouTubers. My twist-outs look like I used a curler, no volume! An no matter what product I use, my hair will always shrink beyond recognition. The length of my hair is well past my shoulders, but you’ll never be able to tell. The shrinkage is real!
Yet all of this is fine because not only does my hair have character (not like my permed hair), but it’s fulfilling my dreams of long hair. And, the curls be BANGIN!
Permed Hair Illusion
As silly as it sounds, this Black girl wanted to be like Jessica Rabbit. But, Jessica Rabbit has long straight hair and is most notably a white female character from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, a cartoon. LOL! Nevertheless, my mom, a self-employed beautician, already introduced me to perms. All I knew was to mimic what I saw with the hair I had. I’d complain to my mom, why can’t I have long hair like Jessica Rabbit! She would say to me that it was genetics, but I didn’t understand.
Permed hair gave me the illusion that I could be something I’m not. And, it wasn’t just posing as someone else, but it was indoctrination into societal acceptance. Permed hair was more acceptable than kinky hair.
The Black Community is continuously disregarded because of our afros, locks, dreads, twists, and cornrows. We feel the sting from our family members telling us our hair looks unkempt-“nappy.” So, I’d continue to put immense effort into damaging my hair with perm and straight irons all for the unattainable hope of it reaching my butt like Mrs. Rabbit. (Yes, she was married to a rabbit. That shit is way weird to idolize). So much effort went into being something I’m not when it was less maintenance to be myself. Little did I know that my hair was already a fantastic gift to enjoy.
Here’s a strange premonition about my natural hair. I was in elementary school, and for some reason, I would blow out my hair, but leave it unstyled. This wild, tousled look was so appealing to me that I would risk other kids making fun of me for it. They would ask, why don’t you curl your hair? I never had a better answer than I like it. My desire for big hair was somewhat of an inner plea from my subconscious. I already had this bombastic head of thick hair; I just needed to grow it out!
Aspirations
My aspirations extend beyond the big chop and finding new natural hair products. And let me tell you, it took a long time to find the right routine for my textured hair. I tried a TON of different natural hair products over the years: Shea Moisture, Cantu, As I Am, Aunt Jackie’s, Kinky Curly Knot Today, Eco Styler, Carol’s Daughter, The Mane Choice, TGIN, Jane Carter Solution, and on and on and on. (Hint: Shea Moisture NEVER works for me. On the other hand, TGIN is tha shit!)
I’ve learned clarifying with apple cider vinegar (with The Mother), co-washing, and using a derivative of the LCO method works best for my hair. The hair strands are fine and not so porous, so I have to get as much moisture in as possible. Every day I’m wetting my hair with water and adding a conditioning product. I barely use gel to define the curls because so many products now have a curl enhancer.
My number one aspiration is to have healthy hair. I’ve regularly kept the ends trimmed so the split-ends wouldn’t jeopardize the healthiness of my hair. Then, hopefully, my fro will grow so long, you’ll see it first coming down the street. You could call me Supernova cause my fro gonna be BANGIN! LOL!
Even now, I’m a horrific braider, but I want to challenge myself to learn a few braiding techniques. I wouldn’t learn braiding for protective hairstyles. I just want the LEWKS! Lol! I want to have some dependable looks other than the wash-and-go for which I get so many compliments. I’ll have an arsenal of hairstyles, much like Cipriana Quann and TK Wonder!
Confidence Booster
My transformational natural hair journey helped me to see the beautiful hair already in my possession. It also boosted my severely low confidence. I finally had a look I could proudly call my own. I bedazzle it with hair clips and match headbands with my outfits.
Loving my natural hair is about enjoying my own beauty standard. Being different from others is wonderfully empowering. I always get lots of compliments. People legitimately pay for what I have, and I had tried to suppress it.
And of course, I fulfilled a dream of mine to have long hair, proving that taking a chance on myself really does pay off.
Conclusion
Honestly, I loved everything about this transformation, and I love my hair. Yes, it took a lot of time and patience, but the results are worth it. I’ve also learned that I already had what I wanted: long hair, personal expression, and beauty. All I needed to do was take my welfare into my own hands and take a chance.
I wish I had transitioned to natural hair while in high school. Talk about a missed opportunity for self-expression! Plus, my fro would be way bigger by now.
If you’re new to embracing your natural hair or maybe you’re a black person “going natural,” I applaud the courage. I hope you enjoy the journey as much as I do, and I encourage you to make your best effort (tell me your efforts, I want to read them in the comments!). In the end, it’s all about loving who you are regardless of anyone else’s opinion.